Struggling With Insecurity…

 

From an early age, I have struggled with insecurity. I’ve never felt that I measured up to people’s expectations for me. When I would fail or mess up, their disappointment was almost more than I could bear.

These insecurities caused me to live a performance-driven life. The fear of disappointing people (and God) forced me into creating rules and high standards for myself, hoping they would somehow give me a sense of security. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Inevitably I would fail again, sending me into another cycle of grasping for something secure.

I would go to the Word, hoping to find comfort, something to cling to. I would open my Bible to a random spot and start reading. Sometimes it would be an encouraging Psalm and I would feel better for awhile. But other times it would be some verse about how God loved Jacob but hated Esau, and I would interpret that to mean, “Oh no! I am Esau! God hates me too!!” It was an emotional roller coaster to say the least!

Then one day I attended my first Precept class. I was fourteen years old, and I still remember how radically that class changed the way I read the Bible. I realized that the Bible wasn’t a hat you randomly drew a verse from and applied that to your situation. It had to be handled and interpreted accurately.

As I began to read and study the Word on my own, I learned about the character of God. He is faithful (1 Cor. 1:9, Deut. 7:9). He never changes (Mal. 3:6, James 1:17). He loves me (Rom. 5:8, Eph. 2:4-5).

I have found more security in the Lord and through the reading of His Word than I could ever have imagined. He is the Rock I cling to when my insecurities or feelings of unworthiness continue to arise. His love for me is immovable and steadfast. He is faithful when I am not. And these are all truths I discovered for myself, because I knew how to study the Bible.

So I encourage you today, learn how to read and study the Bible correctly, because there is hope in that book. There is peace for the anxious, comfort for the grieving, joy for the sorrowful and answers for life. It truly changed my life.

“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)

 

Courtney

 
Courtney Cumbest is a sinner saved by grace and a die-hard Alabama football fan. She enjoys photography, country music, spending time with friends and family, and shooting guns in her spare time. She was a Precept Intern this past year and describes it as one of the most life-changing experiences of her life.

 

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2 Responses

09.21.12

Yes! Good blog Courtney. :) This was encouraging to me. LOVE you! ;D

09.21.12

[…] Courtney Cumbest was honest with us about insecurities. As I read her blog, it made me want to share with you all some things the Lord has shown me about […]

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